Lack of libido in a long-term relationship is a common complaint, according to sex therapists. It isn’t surprising given that most of us are juggling work, friends and family. Finding the time and energy to feel sexy and passionate can be a challenge. ‘Sometimes sex can feel like just another thing on our ‘to do’ list, says Val Sampson, co-author of How To Have Great Sex For The Rest Of Your Life. When you’ve been together for a while it can be hard to maintain the sexual intensity you shared at the outset. ‘The initial lust and hormonal frenzy only lasts for around 18 months’.
A low sex drive is perfectly normal and affects most of us at some point. It is only a problem if one or both of you are unhappy with the situation. If that is the case then you may want to get professional advice.
Physical Or Psychological Causes
Firstly, if it has been going on for longer than six months, see your GP to rule out any physical problem. Possible causes of low libido include low testosterone levels, the Pill, breast-feeding, anti-depressants and too much alcohol. Psychological causes include depression, exhaustion, addictions, and stress and relationship issues. In these cases, counselling and sex therapy can help.
Lifestyle Changes to Improve Your Libido
The brain is our biggest sex organ. If you are not feeling turned on upstairs then you won’t be downstairs. Make the decision to be committed to your erotic life. Get into the habit of fantasizing regularly. Pay attention to situations and encounters and notice what makes you think about sex. Pleasure yourself and wear clothes that make you feel good. Self-esteem is a big part of feeling sensual.
Explore your passions out of the bedroom. How do you spend your time together? Are there new activities you can do to bring something fresh to the relationship? This renewed energy will translate to the bedroom.
Loss of libido also makes men more unhappy about the rest of their lives than it does women. Losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women: It affects about 15% to 16% of men, and at least double that many women.
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